Forget the Handbook: The Foundation of Real Relationships

Podcast Host: “So, let’s switch gears for a moment. What do you think men really want in a woman? Or, let me ask you this — what do you think a woman should do to attract the perfect man?”

You: pauses, blinking slowly “Are you kidding me right now?”

Host: leans in, a bit confused “Uh, no. I mean, it’s a genuine question. Just curious about your take.”

You: leans back, laughing in disbelief “Wow. Okay. Let me ask you something — are you genuinely serious? Or is this one of those moments where I’m supposed to laugh along because we’re both in on the joke?”

Host: chuckling nervously “No, no. I’m serious. What’s wrong with the question?”

You: “What’s wrong with the question? Let’s start here — why on earth would I, or anyone with sense, base my relationship decisions on some generic, one-size-fits-all nonsense? You’re telling me I’m supposed to study ‘what men want’ — as if that applies to every man on the planet — and then mold myself into this mythical ideal? What even is that?”

Host: tries to interject “Well, I mean — ”

You: cuts them off, fired up “No, no, hold on. Because here’s the real problem: instead of asking, ‘Who are you? What do you want in life? What are your values, your goals, your quirks?’ we’re out here playing this game of ‘What do men want’ or ‘What do women want.’ Are you nuts? Are we tables now? You know how many kinds of tables exist? Four legs, three legs, glass tops, wood tops, folding ones, adjustable ones. But sure, let’s pretend they’re all the same just because they’re called tables!”

Host: laughing, a little defensive “Okay, okay, I get it, but — ”

You: “No, you don’t get it. Because if you did, you’d realize how insane this is. I don’t give a damn about what people say men want in a woman. If I’m interested in someone, I’m not consulting some imaginary handbook of stereotypes. I’m talking to them. I want to know them. Who they are, what they value, how they see the world. Not this shallow nonsense.”

Host: smiling but looking for a save “Fair, but isn’t there a bit of truth to general preferences?”

You: “Truth? Let me tell you the only truth that matters here. If you’re a man, great. If you’re a woman, fantastic. You’re healthy? Amazing. Beyond that, it’s about who you are. What makes you, you. Because the second you start living by ‘rules’ of what you think someone wants, you’re not living at all. You’re just acting. And let me tell you what happens then — you act, you perform, and when it doesn’t work out, you sit there crying, wondering why your perfect equation didn’t add up. It’s because it was a trash equation to begin with.”

Host: laughing out loud “Alright, alright, you win. But you’ve gotta admit, that was a solid rant.”

You: smiling, shrugging “I mean, I warned you.”