Fake Nobility: The Quiet Tragedy of Bad Marriages
Kadija and Zara are sitting at a rooftop café, sipping coffee as the sun sets. Zara leans back in her chair, shaking her head as she scrolls through her phone.
Zara:
K, you won’t believe this. You remember my aunt? The one who’s been complaining about her marriage for as long as I’ve been alive?
Kadija (raising an eyebrow):
The one who makes “suffering” sound like her full-time job?
Zara (laughing):
Exactly. Well, apparently, she’s still in that marriage, and now she’s telling everyone how she’s the “pillar of patience and endurance” because she hasn’t left.
Kadija (sipping her coffee):
Oh, Zara, let me guess. She’s making sure everyone hears about how “noble” she is for staying, right?
Zara (nodding):
Yup. She says, “In our generation, we worked through our problems. This generation just gives up.”
Kadija (leaning forward):
You know what that is, Zara? It’s fake nobility. Plain and simple. She’s not staying because of patience or endurance. She’s staying for the applause.
Zara (frowning):
But why? What’s the point of that?
Kadija (gesturing with her hands):
Because deep down, she knows her life is a mess, and instead of facing it, she’s chosen to rewrite the narrative. If she tells enough people she’s patient and enduring, maybe they’ll believe it — and maybe she’ll believe it too.
Zara:
But she’s not fooling anyone. Everyone knows her marriage is toxic.
Kadija:
Oh, she knows that too. Trust me, Zara. People like her always know. They just care more about the image they’re projecting than their actual life. And here’s the kicker — if her husband left her tomorrow, she’d spiral into self-doubt, pity, and regret.
Zara:
I’ve seen that happen! And then they turn around and criticize younger people for leaving bad marriages.
Kadija (rolling her eyes):
Exactly. They say, “Back in our day, we worked through it,” as if they had a choice. Newsflash: They didn’t. Most of them stayed because they didn’t have the resources, the freedom, or the support to leave. And now they’re bitter that others do.
Zara:
But why push that bitterness onto the next generation?
Kadija:
Because if the younger generation succeeds in finding happiness and alignment, it reminds them of their own failure. It’s easier to shame someone else into making the same mistake than to admit you wasted decades of your life.
Zara (shaking her head):
It’s so toxic.
Kadija:
It’s beyond toxic. It’s tragic. And the worst part? Some of these people stay even when it’s physically killing them. Their health deteriorates, they know their partner is the cause, and they still stay.
Zara (leaning forward):
Why?!
Kadija:
Because they want the story. They want people to say, “Oh, she was so patient. She endured so much.” It’s fake nobility. They’d rather die being praised for their suffering than live being free.
Zara (softly):
That’s so sad.
Kadija (nodding):
It is. And when someone younger sees the reality and says, “I’m not doing this,” they attack them. They try to guilt-trip them with nonsense like, “You’re being impatient” or “Marriage is about hard work.”
Zara:
But isn’t marriage supposed to be about partnership?
Kadija:
Exactly. Hard work is cleaning your house, raising your kids, building a life together — not enduring abuse, neglect, or misery just to look “noble.”
Zara:
So what’s the solution?
Kadija (leaning back):
The solution is honesty. People need to stop lying to themselves and others. If your marriage is toxic, leave. If you’re miserable, face it. Life isn’t about suffering in silence for the sake of applause.
Zara (smiling):
I can already hear your future TED Talk: “Stop pretending to be noble. Just be real.”
Kadija (grinning):
Zara, if you ever catch me faking nobility, please slap me with a reality check.
Zara (laughing):
Deal.
