It’s Always You

Most people, no matter their position—leaders included—default to the same mistake:

When something happens, they blame everything outside of themselves.

They’ll analyze every factor—circumstances, other people, external forces—but overlook the only thing they actually control: themselves.

That’s the stupidity of it all.

If the one and only thing you have full control over is what’s inside you—your choices, responses, and actions—then why do you keep pointing outside? Why do you obsess over what isn’t yours to control?

The Lie of “It’s Not Me”

This is how people get stuck.

They refuse to accept responsibility for their own role in events, even when there’s no external obstacle in sight.

Take the sample consultation under my services:

A man setting up a $20 billion deal was convinced something external was wrong—double-checking, triple-checking everything—when the issue was him.

Ethan Blackwood, another sample case, acted like it was all external, when he was the root of the problem.

This is what people do.

They refuse to accept that they are always the common denominator in their own lives.

It’s literally YOUR LIFE.

And that’s why they never break through.

Let’s say someone wrongs you.

You can waste your time thinking about them, but what does that do for you?

Your focus should be on:

- Your response— How are you handling it?

- Your reaction— How is it affecting you?

- What you learned— Did the situation expose a blind spot about you or your knowledge of them?

- Your role as a catalyst— Did you create the opening for it to happen?

- How to prevent it— How do you move differently next time?

-The wisdom— What wisdom will you take from this for your life moving forward?

If you processed everything through those lenses, you’d never waste energy.

Your mistakes would decrease.

Your impact would increase.

Your clarity, foresight, and control would sharpen.

Your life would amplify.

Most people go through one life.

You’d be living two in one—because you’re not wasting time on illusions.

If every person in a conflict stopped, looked inward, and adjusted themselves,

the problem would dissolve.

But people don’t do that. They point outside because it’s easier.

They create distractions, excuses, and narratives to avoid confronting themselves.

I… knew this at five years old.

I grew up in a culture that wasn’t mine. They ate rice. My stomach couldn’t tolerate it. I vomited often.

Instead of seeing that for what it was—a biological fact—they punished me, claiming I was forcing it.

One of those people was the woman who gave birth to me.

100 squats before bed as punishment. They mockingly called it “the monkey dance.”

At five years old, through burning legs and tears, my mind was crystal clear:

- What they were saying was false.

- They were the problem, not me.

- I needed to move differently to avoid unnecessary nonsense.

- Holding a grudge would only drain me, not them.

Even then, I knew:

Why would I waste time being angry?

Why would I let my own body take on the burden of someone else’s ignorance?

And I moved on.

You don’t have to think like me. You don’t have to think like anyone. But you do need to face reality:

If you are present in a problem, you had a role in it.

If every human being only controls what’s inside them, and multiple people are part of an issue, then every single person contributed.

There is no other possibility.

But people won’t accept that. Because it’s easier to blame the sun, the wind, the circumstances, the universe—anything but themselves.

Keep playing that game, and you’ll stay exactly where you are—with the occasional slaps from life and reality.

Or face the truth, adjust yourself, and move forward.

Your choice.