No One Is Suffering “More” Than You

Let me make one thing clear from the start: no one is suffering “more” than you. This isn’t about minimizing anyone’s pain or struggles. It’s about the simple truth that suffering is personal, tailored to each of us, and measured by what we can bear—not by what others see or assume.

We live in a world where people constantly compare, measure, and rank everything—even pain. The reality? Life doesn’t work that way. You don’t know the full picture, and you never will. Yet, people love to throw tantrums, demanding explanations for every difficulty they face as if the universe owes them a PowerPoint presentation on why their struggle exists.

A Cosmic Joke: The Limits of Human Understanding

We didn’t make ourselves. We didn’t create the trees, the oceans, or the sky. We didn’t decide how much oxygen the atmosphere should have or how far the sun should be from the Earth. We found ourselves here, existing in systems so precise that even the slightest deviation would mean chaos.

But somehow, we convince ourselves we’re running the show. We act as though we have the capacity to understand everything, from the cosmic to the microscopic, simply because we believe we can imagine it. Yet even imagination has limits. The moment we see something unfamiliar, we’re struck with awe or confusion—proof that there’s so much we don’t know.

Take the whale, for example. A creature so massive you’d expect it to devour something equally enormous. But what does it eat? Tiny kelp. That’s the universe reminding us we don’t know the full equation. What seems logical in your mind has nothing to do with the reality of how the world operates.

The Fallacy of Comparing Suffering

Now, let’s get back to suffering. People love to compare. They’ll say, “Oh, but those people just went through a tsunami, and I’m only dealing with a thunderstorm.” Or, “My struggles are worse than theirs.” And then they sit there, paralyzed, waiting for someone to validate their feelings.

Here’s the truth: suffering isn’t measured by appearances. It’s measured by what you can bear. One person’s challenges might look trivial to you, but to them, it’s their breaking point. Likewise, your struggles might seem insignificant to someone else, but they’re perfectly calibrated to your capacity.

No one bears more than they’re designed to handle. Life isn’t random chaos; it’s mathematical precision. Everyone has a role, just like every tree, every wave, and every grain of sand. Some trees might provide more shade or fruit than others, but that doesn’t diminish the value of the others.

Get over yourself and stick to your lane.

The Misguided Demand for Justification

Now, here’s where it gets laughable. People demand explanations for their suffering as if they’re owed a personal debriefing from the Creator of the universe. “Why is this happening to me? I need to know! Or else!”

Or else what?

Imagine God looking down at this tantrum, smiling, and saying, “That’s cute. Let’s see what your ‘or else’ is.” Because here’s the reality: you don’t call the shots. You can’t even see what’s inside your own body, let alone what’s behind the wall in front of you, yet you think you deserve a full explanation of the intricate systems of the universe? Who the hell do you think you are?

You wouldn’t go to someone’s house and demand to know why they chose that furniture or what they were thinking when they painted the walls. You wouldn’t even dare to ask why they’re wearing the outfit they have on. But here you are, as a guest in this universe, stomping your feet and demanding answers from the One who made it all.

It’s insanity.

The Science Obsession

Then there’s the glorification of science. Don’t get me wrong, science has its place, and observation and analysis are important. But people treat it like revelation, blindly believing anything prefaced with “There was research on this.”

You don’t know who did the research, how it was conducted, or the countless variables involved. All you know is the word “research,” and suddenly it’s gospel.

Here’s a hypothetical: say a study observes a million people and concludes that a specific diet works for them. Are you seriously going to tell the remaining seven billion people to follow that same diet? Are you out of your mind? Even identical twins have biological differences, yet you’re going to universalize the results of one study?

It’s not that science is useless—it’s that people lack the sense to understand what it’s for. It provides observations and insights, not absolute truths. Just because something works for one group doesn’t mean it’s a one-size-fits-all solution.

The Refining Fire of Suffering

Now, let’s talk about the purpose of suffering. People forget that pain is a form of refinement. It polishes and strengthens while bringing out what’s hidden, just like fire does with impurities and gold. We don’t refine by placing things in the freezer we put them in heat. The same goes for tectonic plates moving under heated pressure to shape the Earth.

Suffering serves to showcase the truth of a person’s character, especially when they refuse to change or grow. Without suffering, it would be difficult to discern those who are hypocrites or liars from those who are genuine and honest. External pressures, like suffering, merely reveal what already exists internally—whether that be goodness or corruption. This is one of many benefits and reasons.

But instead of accepting this reality, people throw tantrums. They want complete answers, validation, and a way to blame someone or something for their struggles. They fail to see that every struggle, every challenge, is part of a larger equation they’re not equipped to understand.

When people obsess over finding complete answers or seeking validation, they neglect the most important task: navigating the situation they’re in. Instead of focusing on the reality that their suffering is catered to their capacity to bear it, they waste energy on those tantrums and explanation demands that will never come. The suffering won’t vanish and the answers won’t appear. The better choice is to focus on navigating, seeking advice, and doing their absolute best—anything else is a waste of time and breath.

Even Hollywood gets this right. How many movies have you seen where characters face adversity, grow through it, and come out stronger on the other side or showcase their true nature? And what do people say as they leave the theater? “Wow, that was deep.” Then they go right back to their nonsense, missing the glaringly obvious mirror being held up to their lives.

Ending the Delusion

Let me be clear: everyone is suffering. Everyone is struggling in ways tailored to their capacity. No one is exempt, and no one is suffering more than you or less than you.

Stop pretending you deserve explanations. Stop demanding that the universe pacify your emotions. You are a slave in this world, just like the trees, the sun, and the animals. Do you see the sun protesting its schedule or the moon complaining about working the night shift? No. They stay in their lanes, fulfilling their roles without complaint. We have a small luxury of complaint, but you know when you’re overdoing it, don’t pretend.

So put your tail between your legs, accept your place, and move forward. Life is about balance. It’s not about having all the answers—it’s about doing your best with what you’re given.

Good grief and good riddance to the nonsense.