The Weight of Generosity: Who Deserves It and Who Doesn’t

There is a critical distinction that many fail to make: not everyone is worthy of full generosity. Not everyone should receive your time, your resources, or your effort in equal measure. Real leaders understand this intuitively, but many still fall into the trap of assuming that help, once given, will always translate into transformation. That assumption is wrong.

There are two types of people in the world—those who, when given assistance, will use it as a stepping stone to elevate themselves, and those who will take it as nothing more than an extension of their comfort. The first group turns opportunity into acceleration. The second treats generosity as a given, a thing to be expected rather than leveraged. And herein lies the dividing line:

The Weak vs. The Strong

Weak people need only what is immediately necessary because they will never truly make something of themselves. They live life like many cultures where people are excessively laid back—never moving forward, never learning how to fish, only waiting to be given more. They don’t act. They don’t sharpen their skills. They don’t rise. If they receive help today, they will need the same help tomorrow. The cycle never breaks because they have no intention of breaking it. They are passive passengers in life, waiting for someone else to move the wheel.

Strong people are different. When they find themselves in hardship, it is not because they are inherently weak—it is a temporary misalignment in their circumstances. When they are given assistance, they do not sit in it; they use it to push beyond their previous limits. They step forward, reclaim their position, and exceed even what they were before. For them, help is not dependency—it is momentum.

The Silent Test of Generosity

If you want to discern who deserves your help, look at what they do when given resources, especially the resources they have now before any help. Do they multiply the use of these resources? Or do they consume and return empty-handed?

Next, watch how they treat the truth. Do they face it? Or do they avoid it? The weak dodge reality. They operate in passivity and secrecy. They keep quiet about their true circumstances until they are forced to reveal them (making themselves seem like they are suffering more than they are). They speak in half-truths, not because they are directly malicious, but because they are too weak and choose to do nothing over confronting reality head-on. And when given generosity, they reciprocate with avoidance. When the tables turn and they are the ones who are needed, they ghost and run or do less than the bare minimum. They will never stand firm when it matters.

On the other hand, strong individuals act with full integrity, whether seen or unseen. They do not deceive, they do not evade. They move with precision, and when given an opportunity, they use it to stand stronger than before. These are the ones who deserve your full generosity.

Moving with Precision

This is why I no longer give blindly. Assistance is not given based on emotion; it is calculated based on who will turn it into something greater. There is no middle ground. You either recognize this distinction, or you waste resources on people who will never use it.

For you, generosity might sometimes not just be about the recipient but perhaps rooted in underlying reasons such as faith or the multiplication of certain factors that serve your own purpose. Even in these cases, discernment is required. If you are giving because of faith, ensure that you are not crossing the line between seeking reward and being foolish. If you are giving due to other valid motives—not manipulation but strategic reasons—you must weigh whether what you are doing now outweighs the waste of the weak person misusing the resources.

For strong individuals, no matter what your reasons are, there will always be multiplication and benefit—whether the benefit is mostly for you, mostly for them, or equally for both.

Understand this: not all who ask deserve. Not all who seem in need are truly in need. And not all who receive will turn what they are given into something meaningful. Your emotions are to be put aside—only place generosity where it multiplies.

Anything else is waste.